Wanted...

So, I'm at court this morning, when I notice a pretty cute nicely dressed guy in front of me in line. Hmmm, I think... maybe a fellow attorney? Well, needless to say, my intentions of starting up some small talk with the aforementioned cutie were quickly dashed when he stepped up to the window to pay court fees and costs and to set up an appointment schedule with a probation officer. Yeah... that could be a bit of a problem.

Anyway, in the interest of finding a guy who isn't a parolee, a work-a-holic, or currently dating someone else, here's a short description of what I'm looking for. Feel free to pass along anyone who fits the following description. :)

WANTED: Single, attractive, intelligent guy with excellent sense of humor seeking woman who can do everything from explaining the West Coast Offense and the "Left Wing Lock" (with or without visual aids) to explaining why Ryan and Marissa are better off broken up that they were together on "The OC". Must like "the Simpsons," spending Saturdays in front of the TV or at the Big House, Trivial Pursuit, hanging out up north on the beach or in the snow, and movies like "Swingers" and "Office Space."

Extra points for: Listening to the Dan Patrick show (double points for having had your email read on the show), being able to cook something more than Kraft mac & cheese, not being scared off by crazy families/friends (not too crazy, just the regular amount of crazy...), being able to quote random 80's movies, knowing when to use "who" and when to use"whom," and dancing with me at social events like weddings.

Points subtracted for: smoking, having a New York accent (and the closely related trait of liking the Yankees), taking non-emergency cell phone calls during dinner or while already on the phone with me, cheating (unless I'm on your team), making fun of me for liking silly girl shows like "Dawsons Creek" and "Gilmore Girls" or the ultimate sin of being an ohio state fan/alumni (which may take someone out of the running entirely, unless he's willing to convert).

Is that really too much to ask for?
-ry