To My Boss, the Pack Rat

Some of the many questions I wish I could ask, but won't (because I like being able to buy food and pay my bills)...

Why did you save your law school books? Do you think the 70's laws are still good? Is it some kind of nostalgia thing? Trust me, no one's gonna look at them... I could give you mine if they're some kind of security blanket. At least they're up to date... and in pretty good condition. Some of them have never even been opened!

Is it really necessary to have 3,254 different kinds of tea in our cupboard when I've worked here for a year and a half and have never seen anyone drink tea? Are they in case the Queen stops by for some advice on selling Buckingham Palace?

Did you notice that when I told you I'd be putting some things in the "to be filed" pile, they "accidentally" ended up in the shredding box? Side note: when I say "I'll take care of it" it is code for "I'll throw it away."

Where did you get the idea that you should save every hand-out from every conference you've ever gone to in the last 20 years? When the conference binder cover is florsecent pink and aqua and has flamingos all over it, it's probably out of date.

Why do we have wrapping paper and ribbons? This is a law office, not the gift wrap department at Hudson's.

I spent an hour today reorganizing the office supplies in the new office, and if you mess them up, I'm quitting. No joke.

- ry