Diary of... THE BACHELOR!

It’s that time again, folks... Monday night 10PM... otherwise known as Bachelor Time. J and I decided to keep a running diary tonight, so let’s let the games begin. Previously... some glamor shots of Dr. Trav and Paris. Boring. All the girls hate Moana. Teacher sara almost cries because she hates her so much. J asks me "do you still think he’s cute?" Grudgingly, I say, "Yeah." She does too. Tonight- the women get the SURPRISE of their lives!! Yes! The ladies join Chris in the mans. Chris calls Dr. T the bach like he doesn’t know his name. Have they replaced the real Chris with some kind of Robotron? Let's keep an eye on that, shall we?

If you want to read the rest of my running commentary, check the comments.

Peace Out.
-ry

UM 72 - MSU 67

I don't want to offend my Spartan readership (Jen), so please take this for what it's worth... not a commentary on ALL Spartie fans, just a few memorable quotes from the 2 who were sitting behind us at last night's game. These are the same 2 guys that were being such assholes last year to J, me, and the woman sitting next to us that I told them, "I bet you feel pretty good about yourselves. You're being dicks to two girls and a mom. Good for you." But, I digress... Enjoy, Michigan fans.

MSU Dude #1: "We could totally hang with any NBA team.
MSU Dude #2: "Totally, dude. Even the Pistons."

MSU Dude #1: "Dude, they spelled Crisler wrong."
MSU Dude #2: "Huh?"
MSU Dude #1: "They spelled it with an I. The car dude spells it with a Y."
MSU Dude #2: "They're stupid."

MSU Fans: "Go Green... Go White... Go Green... Go White"
Michigan Fans: "Can't read.... Can't write... Can't read.... Can't Write..."
MSU Dude #1: "I hate that stupid cheer. They act like they're so much smarter than we are."
MSU Dude #2: "I know. I totally could have gotten into Michigan if I wanted to."
Jess: "I wonder what that kid got on the ACT."
Ry: "I double dare you to ask him."

Even considering the vast amount of trash talk these guys spewed during the game, J and I both turned around and told them "good game." :) Go Blue.

-ry

PS. Song of the day (obviously): "The Victors."

Paris Speaks

I'll post some of my own thoughts soon, but for now, these are pretty hilarious. They're quotes from intellectual giant, Paris Hilton during her deposition in her ex-fiance's ex-girlfriend's defamation law suit. Enjoy!

On being kind to others: "I was trying to be nice. Because if you are nice to someone, then they can't talk bad about you. Like, they'll feel bad saying mean things about you."

On interpersonal relationships: "I meet so many people. I don't even know some of my friends' names."

On her former publicist referring to Graff as a "stalker" in the Page Six piece: "I would never say stalking. I'm not like a dude. Like, I think a girl can only stalk a guy. She can't really stalk another girl."

On her deep knowledge of Greek culture: "It is like a weird Greek name. Like Douglas or ..."

On globetrotting: "I was in Europe the whole summer, and all there is is like French -- I didn't see anything [about the Graff story] because I wasn't in America."

On the physical impact of the deposition: "I'm so hungry."

ry :)

Quick Hits... 2006 Style!

-- Happy 2006, Guys! Apologies that I never did get to writing my Christmas letter. Maybe I'll to do it next year, so I can keep you guys in suspense. I know right now you're thinking: "But I NEED to know what hobbies has Ryan picked up in the last year! What will I do without the Christmas letter?" I guess you'll just have to hang in there. :) Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the holidays. My Christmas was pretty good, save a family party fiasco (my aunt REQUIRING us to get into groups and sing the 12 Days of Christmas) and New Years was also fun (especially because of Oprah's recipe for Pom-tinis), even if we did lose to the boys an unprecedented 3 times at Trivial Pursuit. Virtual High-Five to Sv for co-chefing the annual New Years fete with me.

Here are some thoughts for today...

-- Bringing Keith Olbermann back to the Dan Patrick Show on ESPN was possibly one of the greatest things that's happened to me in a long time. Maybe it sounds pathetic, but listening to these guys every day really helps the day go faster, or at least between 1 and 4! :) Besides all the sports news, where else could you hear Will Ferrell tell Texas fans to "stay classy," and also get some hard-hitting commentary on "Dancing With the Stars"?

-- Congrats are in order for Up in Back and its GM, Beth for a well-deserved fantasy football season championship. Get ready for presentation of the squirrel trophy, guys! (Also, on another FFL note, kudos to T-Diddy for beating me in the consolation ladder...)

-- Award for Rudest Sales Person Ever goes to the girl who checked me out at Victoria's Secret last weekend. After me saying NO to their Angels card about 6 times, I finally said something like, "I don't really get credit cards." She pointed to my wallet (which was open on the counter) and said, "Well it looks like you have plenty of credit cards already." Umm... looking in my wallet? What did she think I was going to say? (I can see it now: "Oh! You caught me... I do have a couple of credit cards. Gimme that Angels application...") Needless to say, I called and spoke to the manager to make sure that salesperson #028 doesn't pry into anyone else's financial business (although it would have been nice to get some sort of gift certificate out of the deal...).

-- Former Pittsburgh Steeler and ABC sideline reporter Lynn Swann has announced that he's running for Governor of PA. I didn't realize that winning 4 Super Bowls qualified you to hold political office (but then again, if the Kindergarten Cop can be governor, anything's possible). Any bets on which Detroit athlete is going to run for office first?

-- No comments on college football... except to say that I hope there really is some shuffling/departures on our coaching staff in the off-season, although I'm not holding my breath.

-- Song of the Day: Inside of Love- Nada Surf.

-- ry