Why isn't it Friday yet?

-- I've been dealing with an ultra-annoying client of late. She was one of those people who was all, "I don't want to spend a lot of money..." however, she's taken up a TON of my time in the last couple of weeks. Yesterday, she called me to find out if I'd read EVERY WORD (an actual quote) of her 2 mortgages (combined page length: 27 pages). Um... no. We don't read every word. You can't make any changes to those sorts of docs anyway, so we just generally review it and give the OK. I told her if she wanted me to read it word for word it would be at least an hour of time ($180). She was like, "OH... well, I don't want to spend too much money, so nevermind." Yeah, whatever. This morning, J and I decided that my firm should bill clients depending on how annoying they are, something like this: "While most law offices use a flat hourly rate, here at our firm, we determine your fee by using a sliding scale. What's the scale based on? Glad you asked. It's based on how annoying you are to our attorneys and/or support staff. We reserve the right to amend your fee at any time for any reason, especially your own stupidity."

-- I'm having a love-hate relationship with my shoes today... Love love love their pointy toes and little straps. Hate hate hate that they are pinching the sides of my feet like nobody's business. Ah, the price of fashion.

-- I think I'm allergic to something here in our office... and I don't have any allergies (that I know of). All I know is that I've been sneezing and sniffling as soon as I walked in the door today... and there's a wierd smell (cleaner? air freshener?) in the bathroom. Can I get worker's comp for developing an allergy on the job?

- My new favorite show: "The 70's House" on MTV. Hilarious. The only thing would be better would be a sequel: "The 80's House." That would be totally radical!! Speaking of MTV, I was pumped that "Laguna Beach" started up again, if only for the veiled references to Kristin's new boyfriend "Matt" (ie. Matt Leinart from USC).

-- It's hard to decide what I'm more disappointed about: the fact that ESPN is still going to have Al Michaels host Monday Night Football, or that NBC is airing the Sunday night NFL game with (groan) Bob Costas at the helm. Can anyone think of any redeeming qualities of either one? I think the only thing that would be worse if Musburger was in on the action.

-- Song of the Day: "Kingdom Come"- Coldplay. It's perhaps one of the best "hidden" tracks I've heard, and I've been meaning to pick a song from "X&Y" as a SotD, but had trouble deciding...

-ry

PS. Words of "wisdom" from a junk message about computer software: "Behind every great fortune there is a crime. Education is the best provision for the journey to old age." HUH?

Tour de Lance!!

-- I can't quantify how glad I am that the local annual art fair is OVER! Next year, I will be making (and maybe selling?) t-shirts that say "I hate the Art Fair" on the front and "Go Home" on the back.

-- Kudos to Lance Armstrong for another victory. Even after the whole, "leaving his wife and kids for Sheryl Crow" thing, I'm still a fan and I wore my LIVESTRONG bracelet proudly this weekend.

-- Looking forward to the Fantasy Football league, especially this year's new edition: The LIVE draft!! I think it'd be more fun to do in person, but some of our friends were lame enough to move out of Michigan, so I guess a "virtual" draft will just have to do. I don't know about the rest of you in the league, but I'm crossing my fingers that Rog will draft Michael Vick yet again this year. It's enough to keep Vick injured/sucking and for Rog to keep me company in the basement of the league. :)

-- My new addiction: Carmel Ice Dragon (like a Starbucks frappuchino, only by a much cooler name. Also, it makes me smile b/c it reminds me of when Jay said "I would like one of your high quality Ice Junkies please...")

-- You're missing out if you don't check Overheard in New York on a regular basis. You couldn't make that stuff up.

-- Quote of the weekend (to Sv), Ry: "You are a random word generator in person form."

-- Song of the day: "Cool"- Gwen Stefani. (I've had it on a continuous loop this afternoon... very 80's-esque, and almost makes me forgive Gwen for "Hollaback Girl." Almost.)

-ry

I'm over it!

Since it's been a while since I raged, here (in no particular order) is a little for you. Today, here are a few things that I am officially over:

• Lean Cuisines. I eat one every day for lunch and I'll admit it: I hate them. Yes, there are few that are tolerable, actually even palatable, and they're considerably less expensive than going out to lunch. However, I'm sick and tired of eating them. Even if they change their packaging and add new items to the selection. Hey, Stouffer's? You're not fooling me by serving the same "chicken with almonds" as you always did even though its now labeled as part of the "Cafe Classics" line.
• Ex-boyfriends (including any and all "psuedo-boyfriends"). Yes, that's right. Every last one of them. Finally.
• Brangelina. Jen's right. Who cares if they're dating/adopting African babies/riding dirt-bikes with Angelina's mowhawked kid. Not me.
• The fact that our temp secretary is calling me by my last name instead of my first name. I corrected her a few times, but I'm done doing it. Hello? My business card is taped to your computer. You can read, can't you?
• Professional Athletes. No, you do not "deserve" to make more money. You get paid to play a game. Let me repeat that: You get paid to play a game.
• Trying to explain computer-related things to my boss. I get it. You're old. You don't get the new fangled "technology." You refer to your iPod as your "PDA." Just please stop asking me to show you how to do things. It'll go a lot quicker if I just do them myself.
• Networking. I understand that I'm relatively new to my profession, and that I need to make "contacts." I'm just tired of schmoozing with fake business-y people who say things like, "Think outside the box" and "welcome aboard." There is no box. I am not on board.

- ry